See the real existence of the child,
discover the real needs of your child,
and help the child achieve his needs.
This is true love.
1. A few days ago, I took my son to visit one of my friends.
Seeing that there was a small partner, my friend’s son excitedly dumped all his toys into the ground,
various of Lego, magnet building tiles, toy robots, Transformers, dinosaurs...
Soon they were squatting in the ocean of toys.
I told my friend, "Your son has too many toys."
She said: "This is not even enough for him to play. Every time he plays a toy, it won't last more than five minutes.
I have to keep looking for new toys for him."
My friend complained helplessly.
Her voice just fell, and her son ran over and said, “Mom, what are we going to playing next, these toys are so boring.”
I looked at the Lego that they played together and it was only half done.
Then they went to play with Plasticine but just a few minutes later it was scattered and they went to Thomas the Tank Engine.
There are actually a lot of toys, but in fact, the fun of every piece of toys is very little.
Parenting experts have said that too many toys can affect the formation of your child's concentration.
The more toys you give, the worse the concentration your child will have.
I am deeply impressed by this.
I have seen such a scientific experiment in an article before.
The scientists gave the children 2, 15, and 30 toys for them to play.
The results showed that children with 2 toys had the best attention, and children with 30 toys had the least attention.
There are too many toys which will affect the development of the child's nervous system.
Therefore, to buy toys for children should not be more than appropriate.
2. I am too familiar with the complaint of the little boy of my friend.
He is simply a replica of my son.
I used to try to buy a lot of toys for my boy as well.
His toys are everywhere and I used to be so proud of this situation.
I feel that these toys represent full maternal love.
However, my son did not appreciate it, and his enthusiasm for toys plummeted as the number of toys increased.
He always wandered around me, complaining that his toy was not fun, it didn't mean anything to him.
When I was in a good mood, I tried to accompany him to play the magic disk to train his patience,
but this game will be ended very soon cause I was always provoked by his low concentration and
yell at him "You have so many toys but you always don't know what to play."
I am deeply distressed and troubled by my child's lack of concentration.
Until then my son went to kindergarten.
I observed it for several days and found that the same toy was played for the children in the kindergarten for several days.
For this matter, I deeply disappointed the shackles of the kindergarten.
But as time went by, I began to notice that my son had a welcome change.
After returning home from kindergarten, he can concentrate on playing the same toy.
And I can also cook in the kitchen without his interference.
After serious thinking, I understood the practice of kindergarten.
Having too many toys makes it easy for children not to cherish the toys they have and abandon the old for the new.
So I silently cleaned up my son's toy, leaving a few of his favorite only.
After cleaning up, not only did our house become bright and spacious, but my son seemed to be more interested in playing a toy for a long time.
The reason is very simple.
For example, if a woman has ten beautiful clothes in front of her,
she will be very upset because she has too many possibilities and does not know which one is her best choice.
And if there are only two sets of clothes, then she will easily choose the one that suits her.
The same is true for children.
Too many toys can interfere with your child's view and disturb their thinking.
This is not a thing to be proud of.
3. In fact, there are a lot of parents who are constantly buying toys for their children.
Even if they understand the disadvantages of doing this, they can still stop.
Why does this happen?
I summed up two reasons:
First, parents keep buying toys to make up for their embarrassment to their children.
Too many parents can't have enough time to spend time with their children, or they just want to play mobile phones after a busy day of work.
They are still more or less guilty about their children, so they are desperately buying toys as their substitute to accompany their children.
But their children don't really want those toys.
What they really need, maybe it's just a hug and a companionship from their parents.
Some parents did not find the real needs of the children in the process of growing up.
It can be said that unlimited toy consumption is actually meeting the psychological needs of parents.
Second, excessive purchase of toys is to satisfy the parents' vanity
A lot of parents are complaining that the current children are more than happy.
But the growth of the child's vanity has a lot to do with parents.
A large number of children display piles of toys during the live broadcast.
These innocent and lovely children promote the surge in consumption by sharing the fun of toys.
Their parents continue to accept sponsorship from toy manufacturers and even work with manufacturers to sell toys through frequently updated videos.
Their performance makes people think that letting children lie in the pile of toys will make the children extremely happy.
Children and parents are watching these videos and are deeply influenced.
You see that other children have a flying toy, and the next day you buy a bigger, even remote-controlled style for your child.
Although buying toys is a sign of love for children, this excessive love can only hurt children.
Seeing the child's real existence, discovering the child's real needs, and helping the child to achieve his needs,
this is the appropriate form for parents to express their love.
4. Under my persuasion, my friend stopped buying toys for the children without restraint.
But her child couldn't get the new toy and was so crying and she was very helpless and had to ask for help.
So I shared my previous practical experience with her.
When my son wrapped me around to buy toys for him, I didn't tell him a lot of theoretical reasons. I just used a few tricks:
First, I gave him a piggy bank, let him store the remaining balance coins of our daily shopping.
We wait for his saving to reach a certain number, and then let himself to decide what toys to buy.
The purpose of doing this is to let him know that the toy is not always at his fingertips so he will know how to cherish his toys.
This slow-moving plan can greatly reduce the frequency of buying toys as well.
Second, I bought a bunch of books with the money that I saved from buying fewer toys and enjoyed good reading time with my boy every day.
Compared with some puzzle toys, books can not only develop children's intelligence, but also broaden the child's vision, and greatly help to improve the child's language organization ability.
More importantly, the process of reading and sharing stories together can improve the relationships between parents and children.
Third, I take the time to accompany my children to go outdoors and get close to nature.
In fact, nature gives the child the most precious "toy".
The fresh air, the fragrance of flowers, the crisp bird sounds, the ugly bugs that make children excited.
When I saw my child holding a mineral water bottle in his hand and concentrating on finding a snail or
playing with a happy smile on his face in the sand, I was suddenly moved.
I think this happiness can't be exchanged with any of his toys.
Of course, these methods are not necessarily applicable to every family, but they have commonality,
that is, the happiness of the child is derived from the active guidance and companionship of the parents.
No matter what kind of method parents use, the companionship of the parents brings happiness to the children over thousands of toys.
Accompanying a child means staying with the child and interacting with him instead of letting a bunch of toys replace the parent's role.
This important role can't be replaced by anyone, let alone a toy.
5. I have read a story that impressed me.
A little boy asked his father how much he earned a day, and his father continued to work after answering his questions.
After a few days, the little boy asked his father to borrow money.
His father was very annoyed and blamed: "I have already given you the money to buy toys. Why do you need extra money?"
The little boy ran to his house and took out the piggy bank and said : "Dad, my money is not enough for your day's salary. I want to borrow some more from you, and then give it to you, so that you have your salary today then you can stop working and play with me for a day."
When I finished reading this story, I suddenly burst into tears.
We strive to make money for the better life of our children, but we ignore the spiritual world of them.
We always say to our children that when we finish our work today, we will accompany them.
But when we finished our work today, tomorrow's missions followed.
In this way, the children grew up slowly in our repeated self-comfort, and the lack of parents' roles was filled with piles of toys.
Toys become witnesses to the growth of children...
In fact, for children, spiritual enrichment is more important than material superiority.
What our children need is our concern, not our money or toys.
If children learn to value their feelings with us from an early age, rather than what we buy them, they will understand that the true inner heart is far more important than the external material.
The child's time of growth is gone forever, and the child's dependence on the parents gradually decreases over time.
Don't miss the precious years of your child's growth, and regret not spending time with your child.
I hope that parents can reduce the speed of buying toys for their children and increase the time spent with their children.
I hope that every child can grow up healthy and happy in the company of their parents.